Last month at Doodlebug's 12 month visit to the pediatrician did not go as well as we hoped. He is healthy, but he's not hitting his developmental milestones on time. This wasn't a total shocker. He's always been the kind of kid who hits milestones as late as possible and can still be considered in the normal range. But at 9 months he was still okay. At 12 months he was not crawling, not pulling up and not able to cruise furniture. He also cannot finger feed or chew food and just figured out how to use a sippy cup.
It is heartbreaking to have other moms say brightly "Is he walking yet?" and tell me that their child, who is 4 months younger, has been pulling up for months now. It is devastating to hear your pediatrician say that this puts your child in the bottom 10% developmentally. It literally hurt my heart to be told by a neurologist this week that he is developmentally delayed and that we need to undergo genetic and metabolic testing to make sure there's nothing more serious going on.
The bright spot is that her gut says he is just a late bloomer.
But, since her gut is not always right Doodlebug has appoinments with an optomologist, geneticist, child development center (for speech, fine motor and gross motor assessments) and more blood tests than I can count. I'm slogging through the insurance underworld to try and get approval for everything she wants to order. And this is just the tip of the iceburg. She also wants an MRI and other genetic testing, assuming we find nothing from all this.
My heart is breaking for my little boy who is behind and he's only a year old. Playing catch up already. He's going to be poked, prodded and stuck with needles. Naptimes will be interupted in favor of doctor's visits. Instead of playing with my sweet boy he is watching Elmo so I can make the 5th phone call of the day to fight with insurance or give a medical history over the phone, again.
In the middle of all of this I noticed his arms and legs turning dusky and finger and toenails turning blue. That earned us another trip to the pediatrician and a bonus round to the cardiologist next week.
Sweetheart, please give your Mommy a break.
This is not what I wanted for him. For us. For our family. And yet here we are. My head screams "I don't want to!" and "I'm not ready!" and "I can't handle this!" But I know I have to. Because I'm the mommy and I will do anything, even deal with the insurance company, for my sweet boy.
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I don't know his background at all, So this is just my situation and I am not a dr. I have 6 kids and another on the way. Not one of my kids was the same developmentally. What was worse was my oldest did everything really early, She walked at 10 months. The next one a boy not so much. The twins were preemies and I freaked out at 14 months and took them in because they were not walking, The dr. gave them a ball, Let them play with it for a bit while we talked, Took the ball away and put it in the corner of the room and those little buggers got up and walked over to the ball, Bahahahaha. The two year old did nothing even close to on time. He refused and I mean refused to walk until almost 15 months, He never did crawl. He turned 2 in October and just decided to do everything. He talks better then any other child I had at that age, Complete sentences and clear. There is nothing he can't do, It was like he was waiting and watching. I prob. should have worried but I didn't. He took the juice cup and started feeding himself and everything just all at once. I am not sure at just 12 months I would go by someone else's set of rules of what he should be doing. I hate those milestone charts I quit looking at them years ago. And the weight and height ones irritate me too, I tell the dr.s know I don't even care so keep it to yourself. They were sure my twins would be developmentally way behind. By age 3 they were so far ahead of the other kids, reading, writing, and so on. Like I said I don't know his background that is just my story. Hope all goes well. Michelle
ReplyDeleteI'm not really worried that he isn't walking yet, most kids don't walk until about 14 months. I am worried he is not pulling up and not finger feeding himself. This is something most other kids have done long before now. My general rule is that if his pediatrician is concerned, than I am too.
ReplyDeleteI know that a year from now I might be laughing at the thought that he was ever delayed. I so hope I am. But I also know that if there is something wrong than we need to find out what it is and provide early intervention. If he does catch up, then we will be able to stop looking and just monitor him to make sure he stays on track. He just seems to be falling farther and farther behind.
OH sure hun, I completely understand, I did too take my twins in to the doc when they were not walking. I have to admit and this does not award me any mother of the year awards lol I can't remember about the pulling up thing, I do know that the feeding just happened, Because I have so many little ones as soon as they could sit up in the highchair I gave them finger food lol. I was just more saying that unless he seems really off to you, I would try to not get too upset, He may very well need a little special attention, I have 3 of my kids with some sort of learning issue and it is disheartening, But they are all different. I had to see some therapists after my now 17 year old son was sick with RSV at 3 months he was in the hospital for 38 days and really fell behind, They will equip you with some great little things to do to get him back up to speed. Just try to remember that he is a boy and they tend to be behind the girls, Not all of them but some, and some developmental milestones missed, Caught early like you are, I don't think are going to be detrimental to him being "Normal". A memory just came to me ( I am old lol) I remember with my oldest son, They had me put on a tape ( geesh I am old... a cassette tape lol) of pop goes the weasel, and we would put him on one side of a gate and pop over it and then after a few times we would not pop over it, well he got the song down and would get ansy about us popping over when we did not and his curiousity got the better of him and he pulled himself up. It took some time but he did it. Anyway good luck hun, There are some great things out there that are fun for you and him that will help him out lots!!! Michelle
ReplyDeletePraying for you Amy. I had no idea this was going on. Call me sometime and we can catch up some more. Let me know if I can do anything for you!
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