Spinach Salad

Unless I’m baking, I don’t really follow recipes all that well. It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t. I can’t be bothered to measure out teaspoons of ketchup or cups of chicken broth. I sometimes discover I’m out of an ingredient ¾’s of the way through a recipe. I am lazy. Why drag out the food processor to grate an apple when I have perfectly good applesause sitting in the fridge. Those are about the same.

For sheer entertainment I’m going to write out this recipe along with the thoughts that go through my head as I am typing it out. This is not for the faint of heart.

Spinach Salad (I know it sounds really gross, but if it makes me want to eat spinach, it’s got to be pretty great. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about. I am a very picky eater.)

2 cups raw baby spinach (The ‘experts’ always tell people to wash their spinach. Should I mention that? I mean, this is a recipe not a cooking lesson. And that would be kind of hypocritical since I never wash mine.)

2 T vegetable oil (Seriously, I have no idea how much oil to use. I just pour a little in the pan. 2T sounds like a good amount though. And who’s really going to measure it anyway?)

½ minced onion (Or maybe a little less. Heck, just use whatever’s hanging around in the fridge. It’s just about adding some flavor anyway.)

2T brown sugar. (I think it’s supposed to be the same as the oil. Maybe not. I can’t remember. Just throw some it.)

½ cup Mandarin oranges (That sounds about right. Assuming you have Mandarin oranges. Last week I didn’t so I used dried cranberries. It was pretty tasty. Maybe I should change it to cranberries. Or both. I bet it would be good with both. I’d better remember to add both to the grocery list for next week. And spinach. I won’t get far without the spinach. Is there anything else we need from the grocery…? Wait, what was I doing? Oh yeah, typing up a recipe. Where was I?)

¼ almonds. (Use whatever nuts you have that seem to go with the other ingredients. Throw in what you want. Seriously. It’s not that hard.)

Heat oil in a small pan. Add minced onion and cook until translucent. (I hate using that term. When are the onions translucent? No idea. But it’s better than trying to figure out how long I actually cooked them last time. As long as they aren't burnt you will be okay.)

Take pan off the heat and add in brown sugar. (I know, it sounds insane. But think of it like dressing. It really does taste good. Promise. Cross my picky-eater’s heart.) Stir until well combined. Pour mixture over the spinach. Toss well to coat. (You’re gonna be standing there tossing for a few minutes. It doesn’t look like it’ll be enough, but it is. Promise.)

Top with Mandarin oranges and almonds. (Oh so healthy, and thanks to the sugar, oh so yummy too. I wonder what other fruits and nuts would work here.)