In honor of my son choosing to get up at 5:00 AM (two hours early!!!) when he knows Mommy has mono and is exhausted at best anyway....
1. You have to tell the nurses in the hospital that you are not sure if you actually went to the bathroom or just dreamed it.
2. You cannot remember the word shower so instead you refer to it as "the box you stand in and the water comes down on your head and you get clean."
3. While pumping you realize that your left knee is starting to feel wet and discover you did not attach any bottles to the breast pump.
4. When your in-laws are lamenting a news story in which a mother has killed her 2 month old baby you actually understand how she could snap like that, and then forget to keep that thought to yourself.
5. You yell at the trash can when the lid refuses to latch and it is full of stinky diapers. And then you try to put it in time out.
6. Someone asks you your name and you really have to stop and think about it for a moment. Or maybe two.
7. Someone asks you your phone number and the only answer you can come up with is "I have no idea."
8. When you have a crying fit at 2:00 AM because you are up and down nursing a cranky baby and your c-section incision hurts and no man that had an appendectomy would be doing all this and you just had a big old BABY!
9. You can't think of a coherent way to end this post so you add one more bullet point and then hit publish post so you can go eat dinner.
Not that I have done any of these mind you. Oh no, not me.
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Oh, #8! Actually, I can relate to all of them, but #8 especially. I remember being incredibly irritated with my husband because I knew for a fact that if he had just had any kind of major surgery, nobody would be telling him to go home and take care of a baby.
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