Costs to Adopt

It costs a staggering amount of money to adopt. It can be as little as a couple thousand dollars to adopt a child in the foster care system or up to sixty thousand dollars. Yep, $60,000. That's a lotta money.

So what are all the fees for? (I'm mostly talking about the fees for a domestic adoption that is not through the foster care system. Some of the fees overlap to other types of adoption, but not all.)

The first thing you need is a homestudy. As near as I can figure this is a social worker meeting with the potential adoptive family and touring their home to make sure that they have "a suitable environment to raise a child". Actually, it's several meetings and a bunch of paperwork. Fingerprints, criminal record checks, medical clearances and that sort of thing. This cost $1000-$1500 or so.

If you decide to use an adoption consultant their fees are generally $2000-$3000.
The adoption consultant is the person who looks out for the interests of the adoptive parents and helps to guide them through the process.

Then there are the fees to the adoption agency. This is a huge chunk of the cost to adopt. My understanding is about $13,000-$15,000. Gulp! Did you know that agencies work in the best interest of the birth parents? Now, don't get me wrong, I am glad that there is someone protecting their interests I just have a lot of trouble wrapping my head around the fact that I am paying that much money to someone who isn't even looking out for my best interest. I was really surprised to find out what these fees cover. Can you guess? Advertising. All that money for advertising. Whew.

Birth mother expenses. This varies a lot. It totally depends on the situation and what the birth mother needs. Anything from maternity clothes, to medical bills to rent so she has somewhere to live. These fees could be minor or thousands and thousands of dollars.

And then there are the expenses involved in actually going to pick up the child from whereever he or she is born. When you adopt a newborn in the US the adoptive parents go to the hospital where the baby is going to be born or is already born. After the birth mother signs away her parental rights and the child is discharged from the hospital the adoptive parents can take the child with them. But until the state the child was born in and the state the adoptive parents live in get on the same page, the adoptive parents cannot leave the state with their child. So this is usually about two weeks in a hotel, plus airfare and any other travel expenses.

The cost is overwhelming. There are no guarantees. We could spend thousands of dollars and still not have another child. I cannot think of a single way to raise the kind of cash needed to make this happen. Well, I could think of a couple of ways but other than winning the lottery none of them are legal.

So we are at a crossroad. Do we go for it? Do we wait until we can save more money? Do I get a job to help with the expenses? There don't seem to be any good answers. There sure as heck aren't any easy answers.

Cutting Hair at Home

I started cutting Doodlebug’s hair when he was about 6 months old. He had this little patch on the top of his head that was about 3 inches long. It was very cute until he got fitted for his helmet. It stuck out and he looked like a rooster, and not in a flattering way. So we went to Target, bought a mustache trimmer and started trimming.



I bought a mustache trimmer instead of a hair clipper because it was smaller and I wanted to have more control over it. It turned out to be the perfect size.

Since Doodlebug was not yet sitting up on his own I stripped him to his diaper, put him in his Bumbo and started clipping away. He did great, never even flinched. Not that he was still, he squirmed away but never even noticed what I was doing with his hair.



I started with the longest setting on the trimmer and for this haircut that was all I needed. Now that he has more hair to work with, I leave it a little longer on top and trim the sides a little bit shorter. And just a helpful tip, if you put the trimmer down during the haircut always make sure that the guard is still on the setting you thought it was. I don’t know this from experience. And especially not the experience of moving the guard from the longest setting to the shortest one without noticing the day before his first birthday. Because I would never do that. Oh no, I would never do anything like that.

Now when I get ready to cut his hair I put an Elmo DVD in and sit him on a large towel in the family room. It works great. He is mesmerized by Elmo and I just buzz around him trimming him up.

I am linking up to We are THAT Family and the Works for me Wednesday posts.

Teaching Babies Sign Language

I have always planned to teach my son a few sign language signs. Babies can sign much more easily than they can verbalize words. In fact, children being raised in a home where sign language is used can start to sign around 6 months of age.

My goal is to teach my son simple words so he can communicate a desire to eat, sleep, drink, use the bathroom…. If he is able to communicate his needs more clearly to me it will reduce the amount of frustration on everyone’s part.

One of the great things about using sign language is that you are able to take the child’s hands and move them to make the sign. It’s not possible to make a child repeat a sound after you. Sometimes the parent physically guiding the child to make the sign helps the child to understand what is expected of him or her.

We worked on this concept with Doodlebug for months on end. He just wasn’t getting it. He understood when I signed to him, but did not know what I wanted him to do. Finally one day he took my hands and guided me through signing the word “book”. Progress! Within a few more days he could sign “book” when I showed him the sign and verbally encouraged him to sign it. And a few days after that he started signing the word spontaneously.

He was reading books by himself shortly after that. He looked down at his book, signed “book” (to himself) and then picked it up and started to read. It was one of the cutest things I have ever seen.

How To Teach Your Baby To Drink Through A Straw

I have been wanting to teach Doodlebug to drink through a straw for a while now. But when I asked friends how they taught their kids to do this, they all said they didn’t know. Hmm…that’s not so helpful.

So in case anyone else is wondering, this is how I taught Doodlebug to drink through a straw.

Remember when you were a kid and you would dip your straw in your drink and put your index finger over the top? When you pulled your straw up out of the drink the liquid would stay in the straw until you took your finger off the top. This is exactly what you do. I drew up only a small amount of liquid and offered it to Doodlebug. When he closed his lips around the straw I took my finger off the top of the straw and let the liquid go.

Then I repeated this about 100 times. We did this after every bite of food 3 meals a day and one snack a day for about 4 days. As he got used to this I let him suck on the straw a bit to help draw out the liquid before releasing it.

After he had that down, we graduated to a juice box. I placed the straw in Doodlebug’s mouth and squirted a small amount in. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Once he could seemed comfortable with that I just let him suck on the straw and he figured the rest out on his own. We just moved him up to a slightly wider straw and keep on practicing.

Ta da! The whole process took less than a week.

Big Week for Doodlebug

Doodlebug had a big week this week. If you will allow me to brag on my little boy for a moment....

First he learned how to drink out of a straw. Yay! He's been a bit behind in hitting his developmental milestones and one area we've really been struggling in is to get him to drink out of a sippy cup. He either could not or would not do it. I finally asked his speech and feeding therapist to tell me how to teach him to drink out of a straw. She gave me a couple of pointers and in less than a week he was doing it on his own.



We have been working to teach him sign language since September. That's eight months people. We want to teach him a few signs like "more", "finished", "eat" and "potty". Since he has no spoken words yet this would really help us out a lot if he could tell us some of these things. This week he finally got it! He only has one sign "book" but he uses it consistently and without prompting from us. He loves to read and we've been reading to him even more than usual this week.



And he took his first step. He's been pretty good about waiting to hit new milestones until both Chris and I are with him and he that for us again. One minute he was cruising along the ottoman and the next he let go and took a step towards me. What a sweet baby boy.



Dear Doodlebug,

I am so proud of you and all you have accomplished in one short week. It's so much fun to see you conquer new things. Remember, you are my favorite baby in the whole wide world.

Love you,
Mommy

Adoption-Here We Go

Remember those Fisher Price little people? I had those and I loved to play with them. I think I had about 20 or so and they all lived in a four room house. With no bathroom. I'm not sure how that worked, but I don't remember it being a problem.

I spent a lot of time playing with them and making up stories about their world and what they did. This is where I created my first adoptive family. Granted back then I was a little confused about the subject because I had triplet girls, two of whom I declared were adopted and one who was not.

I always knew I wanted to adopt and always thought I would adopt my kids. I never expected to give birth to a child, but life's full of twists, turns and surprises, and of course, my Doodlebug.



Going through pregnancy with Doodlebug was not a fun thing. At all. About 5 minutes after I got the positive pregnancy test I got queasy and it didn't stop until he was born. From May to January I fought to get down and keep down every single bite of food I ate. I was miserable and I am never doing that again.

So we are starting to get serious about adopting. We want to wait until Doodlebug is around 18 months old or so. That way if we get a child really quickly the kids will be at least 18 months apart. Any closer and I think I might lose my sanity. Well, I might lose it anyway, or it could be gone by now for all I know. My sanity I mean.

This past fall we went to an adoption expo and learned about Adoption Consultants. They are people who work for the potential adoptive parents. From what I understand their main purpose is twofold.

One they provide education. There is a lot to learn and navigate in the adoptive process. Domestic or international? What race(s) are you willing to accept? What age(s)? Will you accept a child whose mother used drugs? Which drugs? Recreationally or a hard core user? How do you market your family to a potential birth mother?

The second main purpose is to help you match up with a mother who is giving her baby up for adoption. Did you know that adoption agencies work for the birth parents only? I didn't. It is their interests that are being protected, not the potential adoptive parents. I had no clue.

So, we called two adoptive consultants today to make appointments. We need to know if it is realistic to think that we can adopt based on the budget we have. And where do we go from here?

I am excited. And terrified. After all, with a second child I'm going to be outnumbered during the day. Yikes! And I'm wondering about this little baby. Will we have a boy or a girl? When? What will his or her personality be like? By this time next year will our family be complete?

How To Start Eating Gluten Free-Traveling

Eating out is the area I struggle most in with eating gluten free. Well, and not being able to eat Krispy Kreme donuts. Or Oreos. But I digress….

I am very sensitive to gluten and I just don’t trust other people not to accidentally contaminate my food. I am always afraid that they will put my hamburger on a bun and then remember I ordered it without a bun and just take it off and serve it to me. I always wonder if chicken nuggets or onion rings have been cooked in the same fryer as the french fries.

When I was in the hospital to have Doodlebug I was offered fried chicken and macaroni and cheese, neither of which was gluten free, even though we specified all food had to be gluten free. My salad arrived with croutons on it too.

All said, I am very suspicious and always concerned when I have to eat out. I have found a couple of tricks that make traveling a little easier though.

Before going on any type of a road trip I make sure I know a few things I can eat at several fast food restaurants. I know I can walk into any Wendy’s order chili and a Frosty and my food should be gluten free. If I know things I can eat at several places it give me, and those traveling with me, a lot more choices. Most fast food places have menus that list food allergens online and I check these to make sure I am up to date. I have also printed out a few and stuck them in the car so I have the information when I need it. Although it’s available online I have not had much luck in getting this information while actually in a fast food restaurant.

I also make note of chain restaurants that have gluten free menus. Bonefish Grill, Carrabas, Outback Steakhouse and P.F. Changs all have gluten free menus if you ask for them. I personally feel more comfortable eating in places that have gluten free menus as the staff seems to be more knowledgeable of gluten and how to avoid it.

My other traveling trick is to carry my own food. I don’t always need it, but if I get caught somewhere I feel a lot better knowing that I have something that is safe for me to eat. In a restaurant a plain baked potato or a salad without croutons and dressed with vinegar and oil is usually available and is enough to get me through the meal, but I will probably want a little something later.

In my view, eating out is generally not worth the risk and I almost always choose to eat at home instead, but there are a lot of people who do eat out on a regular basis and are much more adept at explaining how to handle their food to the restaurant in such a way as to not contaminate it with gluten. If any of my readers fall into this category and have tips to add I would love to hear them.

Book Review-The $64 Tomato

I love good books. Going to the library is free and supplies me with endless amounts of entertainment. Of course, it’s tough to know which books are going to be the good ones, and which are not. I find myself trying to tell by the jacket covers. Sometimes it works, but not very often. I usually read a couple of sentences before I toss it in my bag to take home. If it start out “Blanch DeFrufru yearned for a new life. Little did she know that crossing paths with Lance Malcom, the handsome gardener would provide such a change for her.” I put it back. Every once in a while I find one I really enjoy. Some are quirky. Some are deep. And some are just fun reads.


I just read a great little book called The $64 Tomato. Actually the whole title to this book is The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden. I knew from the title I would have to read it.



I love people who kind of bumble around a bit in life, laugh and themselves and live to tell the tale. It comforts me to know that I’m not the only one. I love that at the end of this book I feel like I have seen Bill’s garden, sat with him in it and had a chat. And any guy who names his archenemy in the garden Superchuck feels like a friend to me. Because, why wouldn't you name the woodchuck who is systematically destroying your garden?

Oh, and just so you know, I linked to the book in Amazon. Not because I care if you buy it, or because I will make any money if you do (I won’t) but merely to make sure that I give you all the proper information so you can find the book. The full title, the author and all that jazz.

How to Start Eating Gluten Free-Medical Providers

***Disclaimer: I am not a medical profession. These are my opinions and experiences only unless indicated otherwise in this article. Do not use this information in place of doing your own research on these issues.***

Until recently, med students were taught that Celiac disease was very, very rare. General practitioners expected to see approximately one patient with it in their lifetimes. The education they received about Celiac and eating gluten free was minimal at best. Now, Dr . Alession Fasano with the Center for Celiac Research says As many as 1 out of 133 people in the US have Celiac Disease. Of these 3 Million people in the US who have Celiac Disease it is estimated that 97% are undiagnosed. It is way more than the medical profession realized. And then you add in people who are gluten-intolerant or following a gluten free diet as part of a treatment for Autism or eating gluten free for any other health reasons and the numbers multiply exponentially.

That said I have to say I have been seriously underwhelmed at the knowledge within the medical community at large about Celiac disease and eating gluten free. Why you ask? Oh, let me share some of my experiences. Where to start….

When I started having GI symptoms over a prolonged period of time, I knew I had developed Celiac. I had several of the more classic symptoms and my mom has it, and Celiac does have a genetic component. I went to my primary care doctor, told her about my symptoms and family history and requested a blood test to begin the process of formal diagnosis. At first she told me I couldn’t have the test, I did not have Celiac. When I pressed her she told me my symptoms did not match with Celiac and that family history did not really play a role. What???????? I finally insisted she give me the blood test. She was surprised it was positive. I was not.

Just before I gave birth to my son my nurse called down to get me a dinner plate for after the delivery. When she told them I had to have gluten free food they told her I could pick from fried chicken or macaroni and cheese. Neither of those were gluten free. I was also served toast, croutons and oatmeal before I finally told them to just stop bringing me food. Thankfully we had thought ahead and brought some food from home with us so I knew it was gluten free.

A physician assistant working in at my gastroenterologist’s office told me medication never has gluten in it. Actually she laughed at me when I questioned whether she had verified a medication she was trying to give me had gluten in it and then told me that no drugs contain gluten. She was wrong.

My son’s pediatrician and my pharmacist were shocked to learn some medications do contain gluten.

If you are diagnosed with Celiac or decide to go on gluten free diet for any other reason know that you are going to have to be your own advocate. Know that you will have to do lots of research. Know that you will have to ask lots of questions and educate many people, some of whom will be in the medical field. It is frustrating, and can be exhausting. Right after being in labor for 12 hours, up for over 48 hours in a row, having just had a c-section and trying to learn to nurse was not when I wanted to educate the head of the department that prepares all the patients’ food. But that’s when the opportunity came, so I did.

I have actually found that in questioning medical professionals about being gluten free I can learn quite a lot about them and how they practice medicine.

My son’s pediatrician, who is wonderful, was very receptive to me bringing him information on research studies on Celiac. He also did some research on his own after I told him that some meds contain gluten. When he prescribed meds to my friend’s little boy (who is gluten free) a couple months later he mentioned to her that some meds do contain gluten and to have the pharmacist double check before filling the prescription.

I gave my son’s former gastroenterologist a summary of a research report on introducing gluten to kids who may have the gene for Celiac and he glanced at it, shoved it back at me and told me he would get all the information he needed at a conference that fall. I was pretty surprised because the study was the same information I had asked him about on our last visit, and he had no answers.

The pediatrician listens to patients, learns from patients and does research on things he does not know about. The gastroenterologist does not think patients can bring him any knowledge and that he already knows it all. I know which doc I want to work with and which one needs to go.

The Big Scare

A couple of months ago I blogged about Doodlebug lagging behind in hitting his developmental milestones. Since then we have been making the rounds of the specialists to try and find out what is going on.

A month ago we saw the opthamologist. Apparently looking at the optic nerve can sometimes give indications of causes of developmental delays. When the doc examined Doodlebug I was told that his optic nerve looked good and his vision was fine too.

We also started working with Child Developmental Services (CDS) to have his speech, language, cognitive functioning, fine motor and gross motor development assessed. He was evaluated when he was 14 months old but was generally functioning at the level of a 9-12 month old child at that point. As a part of the assessment I received a written report. It contains their findings as well as notes on the findings of relevant medical professionals. One of the medical professionals that was referenced was our opthamologist.

So, I was in the kitchen reading my way through the assessment and making Doodlebug's breakfast. Perfectly ordinary Tuesday morning. And without warning it changed into one of the moments in my life I will never forget. When I got to the part from the opthamologist's and read "Dr. Blinkity-Bloop suspects anoxic brain damage."

The world pretty much fell out from under me. No one has ever suggested to us that Doodlebug's problems could be from brain damage. No one has even mentioned those words to us. In fact, most people are thinking he's just a late bloomer. Maybe need a little help to get caught back up.

After I managed to get myself back together and feed my boy, I called the opthamologist's office. I explained that I had received this report and wanted to verify the doctor did believe that he had brain damage and find out why no one had mentioned this to me. That was at 9:00 AM.

While I sat at home listening for the phone to ring I cried. Hugged my baby. Wondered what this meant for his life. Can he still go to college? Have a family? Will he struggle through school? Be teased? How will this affect our family? And then the mommy guilt set in. Is this my fault? When I was in labor and pushing his heart rate kept dropping into the 40's. Should I have done something different? I didn't want a c-section and the doctors thought I was refusing the surgery when I said that. Were my baby's brain cells dying while that was going on? Could I have prevented this?

The doctor's office didn't call back that day. I had a lot of time to think about it.

The next morning at 9:15 a nurse called me back. First she told me she didn't call me yesterday because the doctor had Doodlebug's file and just gave it back to her. Then she told me they didn't know what report I got the information from and that she couldn't give me any information anyway because the doctor's notes had not been transcribed.

As patiently as I could, I explained about the evaluation. I told her I had signed a release for the doctor to send the information to CDS because they wanted to verify his vision was okay. I had gotten the summary from CDS and it stated the opthamologist suspected anoxic brain damage and I wanted to know if that was correct.

Again she repeated that she couldn't tell me anything since the notes weren't transcribed yet but they would be done soon and sent to Doodlebug's neurologist. The notes were not done yet (a month after the appointment) because first the doctor was on vacation and then the transcriptionist. How nice for them, but you see, I really don't care. I am a little more concerned with the words brain damage right now.

When I asked how I could get a copy of these notes she seemed very surprised but said she could mail them to me. They should be in the mail by the end of next week.

And then she tried to get off the phone. Umm, no. We're not done yet.

I asked how CDS got that information if the notes were not done yet. She had no answer for me.

I thought, perhaps she doesn't understand why I am so upset about this. Maybe she thinks someone has already mentioned that he might have brain damage. So I explained that Doodlebug is developmentally delayed. We are trying to figure out why, but this is the first time we have heard the words brain damaged and we are freaking out. Could she please do anything to expedite these notes or get me any additional information under the circumstances?

She told me that "those words are in the report" (anoxic brain damage) and the the notes would be done by Monday and mailed to me. I don't know how that's expediting anything since Monday was her original day. I decided just to get off the phone with her (since I believe her name was The Unhelpful Nurse Who Blames Everyone Else).

I called my husband and asked him to call the doctor's office. If they get enough calls maybe they'll get our report done sooner just to make us stop calling.

He got a nice nurse on the phone who apologized to him (imagine that!) and told him that those words were part of a billing code, not a diagnosis.

Now I'm even more confused. Technically the first nurse didn't say that anoxic brain damage was an actual diagnosis or suspicion, but she sure didn't mention this. And if she knew that and didn't mention it I think I will change her name to Cold-hearted Mean Nurse. (Okay, okay, maybe the name I called her was a bit more colorful, but I was having a really bad day.)

This post is getting really long. Anybody need an intermission? Seriously, feel free. I'll still be here when you get back.... Ready? Okay, here we go.

I called our case manager's supervisor at CDS and explained the situation. (I wasn't going over our case manager's head, she is off getting married and not in the office right now.) She looked at the notes from the doctor's office and confirmed she had them and that matched what was on the report. She suggested I try to contact our pediatrician or our neurologist to get some more information. Maybe a doctor can get the process moving along.

Now I love our pediatrician. Love him! He is great with Doodlebug, tells me like it is and answers my mile long list of questions when we go in without making impatient noises or faces. I love him. So I called and left a message for his nurse to call me back.

Within two and a half hours he was on the phone with me. He told me that he had no idea how an opthamologist could make that diagnosis. Anoxic means that no oxygen got to the brain which resulted in cell death and brain damage. And since there is no known event where Doodlebug got no oxygen for a period of time no one could make this diagnosis on him in his opinion. Then he told me he called a neonatologist and reviewed Doodlebug's birth history with him. (See, I told you. This is why I love this man!) The neonatologist said that a heart rate dropping into the 40's a couple of times could not have caused this. If it had gone on for several hours or days, maybe. But not 2-3 pushes over 20 minutes. And Doodlebug came out breathing just fine with Apgar's of 8 and 9. He said that when the opthamologist's report comes in next week we will review it together and until then I should try not to worry about it, because there's really nothing he can see to worry about.

Whew! I feel so much better. Dr. E shoots straight with me and if I needed to worry he would tell me flat out.

And then the opthamologist office got it together and got the notes transcribed. They called my husband and read him the report. Here's the gist.

Optic nerve is fine.
Vision is within normal limits.
Follow up at age 3.

So where did the anoxic brain damage come in? A billing code. Yep, all that over a freaking billing code. Apparently that is how they will code it for insurance (as a visit to rule out anoxic brain damage).

I am so relieved I don't know what to do with myself. Doodlebug's still delayed, we have lots of work ahead of us We still don't know why he's behind, but at least no one is saying the scary phrase anoxic brain damage any more.

My One Dollar Garage Sale Bargain

I love garage sales. There is an amazing variety of stuff, some great deals to be had and some very funny stories. This is one of those stories.... I stopped at a garage sale because I caught a glimpse of a large stuffed Elmo. Doodlebug is a huge fan of Elmo and so I always stop to look at the Elmo stuff for him. I walked up and picked up Elmo to look at the price. Suddenly I hear a little voice.

"Are you lookin' at my Elmo?" I looked up to see a four-year-old little girl, obviously the current owner of Elmo. I laughed a little and told her I was. I moved on to look at some DVD's and noticed there was one about potty training featuring Elmo. As I pick up the DVD I hear her again, "Do you know how to potty train someone?"

Okay, this is just too good to pass up. I love these types of conversations with kids. So I tell her "No, but I'm hoping that if I buy this video I'll learn how. What do you think?"

Crossed her little arms, narrowed her little eyes and skeptically said, "I don't know...."

So I asked her, "Are you potty trained?" Indignenetly she replied "Yes!"

"Do you know how to potty train someone?" She nodded enthusiastically. With really big eyes I asked her "Do you think you could potty train my little boy for me?" Nodding her head she told me "Oh, yes!"

"How much do you charge?" I asked her. After a few seconds she cocks her little head and says, "Ummmmm, a hundred?" Ever the bargain shopper I clarify "Pennies?" That got a quick response of "No! Dollars!"

I told her I could not afford $100 and asked if she could come down on the price a little for me. She said, "Okay, how about one dollar?" "You're hired!" I told her.

And that, my friends, is how you hire a potty trainer for the grand sum of one dollar at a garage sale.

You Know You are Tired When...

In honor of my son choosing to get up at 5:00 AM (two hours early!!!) when he knows Mommy has mono and is exhausted at best anyway....

1. You have to tell the nurses in the hospital that you are not sure if you actually went to the bathroom or just dreamed it.

2. You cannot remember the word shower so instead you refer to it as "the box you stand in and the water comes down on your head and you get clean."

3. While pumping you realize that your left knee is starting to feel wet and discover you did not attach any bottles to the breast pump.

4. When your in-laws are lamenting a news story in which a mother has killed her 2 month old baby you actually understand how she could snap like that, and then forget to keep that thought to yourself.

5. You yell at the trash can when the lid refuses to latch and it is full of stinky diapers. And then you try to put it in time out.

6. Someone asks you your name and you really have to stop and think about it for a moment. Or maybe two.

7. Someone asks you your phone number and the only answer you can come up with is "I have no idea."

8. When you have a crying fit at 2:00 AM because you are up and down nursing a cranky baby and your c-section incision hurts and no man that had an appendectomy would be doing all this and you just had a big old BABY!

9. You can't think of a coherent way to end this post so you add one more bullet point and then hit publish post so you can go eat dinner.

Not that I have done any of these mind you. Oh no, not me.

How to Start Eating Gluten Free-Part Three-Medications

Make sure you check for gluten in medications. I have been told numerous times (from health care professionals who should know better) that there is no gluten in medications. This is not true. Gluten containing products are sometimes used as a filler. You can check this site http://www.glutenfreedrugs.com for some name brand medicines but your pharmacist will need to call for most generics. They may have to leave a message and these calls are only answered M-F during business hours. You can ask your pharmacy to flag your account that they need to verify all meds are gluten free.

A word of caution on the medications, unless you know your pharmacist well, always ask if they have verified the medication is gluten free from the manufacturer. Even though my account is flagged at my pharmacy a substitute pharmacist did not bother to do this for me. When I asked he did call the manufacturer and left a message for them to call him back. They didn’t. I had to call my regular pharmacist the next day to have him do it. It took me over 24 hours to get antibiotics for strep throat. Not fun.

Parenting

Last week I was part of a message board discussion about teenagers having sex. One of the hot issues became how a 17 year old boy should take responsiblity for having unprotected sex or sex in which the birth control was obviously faulty (ie the condom broke). This was a pretty controversial issue and garnered a lot of discussion.

I was thinking about how we will prepare Doodlebug to take on these decisions at the age of 17. After all, the decisions involve more than just the morality of pre-marital sex. If our son chooses to have sex and that age and accidentally fathers a child he could be raising a child when he is 17. And then the thought hit me, most boys are already dealing with issues of sex by 14. I remember standing in front of our refrigerator and realizing that some kids are having sex at the age of 12. Not only do we have to share our values with him before then, we have to make sure he knows his own. What does he think of pre-marital sex? If he chooses abstinance how will he make sure he can follow through on that decision? What will he do when he's tempted? Where does he draw the line? And if he chooses to have sex, what will he do about birth control? Where will he get it? What will he do if he accidentally fathers a child? How will he support this child?

Typing all of this out, makes me queasy. How in the world can a hormonal teenager be expected to be able to do all of this? How are we going to teach him how to do all of this in the next 11 years? It takes a lot of strength to abstain from sex until after marriage, where will he get that strength from?

The reality of life today is that we are still working on the word "no". Mostly, I say it and Doodlebug laughs. It's not working so well yet.

But I am also a very practical mom. When Doodlebug decides to climb the stairs (which occurs roughly every 2 1/2 minutes) I let him. I stand behind him and let him fall down the stairs. My job is to let him go while protecting him from serious injury. Bumps and bruises are okay, but a concussion is not. Seriously, I am working with someone who has almost no life experience. He does not know falling down the stairs hurts. If I catch him every time, he never will. And if I wait he will be better at climbing the stairs and fall from a higher height.

Wait, what does falling down the stairs have to do with having sex as a teenager?

It's about learning your actions have consequences. If you aren't careful on the stairs you will get hurt. Just because you can do something does not mean that you should. Mommy won't always be there to catch you.

It hate watching him fall, but I am determined to teach him these life lessons. It will hurt less to learn them now. The stakes are only going to go up as he gets older.

So Doodlebug's dad and I are trying to figure out how we want to parent our child. How do you consequence a one-year-old who is deliberately throwing food on the floor (and the walls, and the table, and the cat...)? How do we help him to understand that when we say no, the appropriate response is not hysterical giggling? How far do we let him fall before we step in to soften the blow for him? I honestly don't know.

This is what we know in our parenting strategies.

1. We set him up for success. That means we don't take a hungry, exhausted child to the grocery store and expect perfect behavior. We work within his limits and keep our expectations of him achievable. Well, that's the goal anyways.

2. We believe in having him deal with the consequences of his actions. Throwing your paci means you don't get it back. Well, not for all of eternity. After all, he is only a year old. We are still working it out.

3. This parenting stuff is much, much harder than it looks.

How to Start Eating Gluten Free-Part Two-Baking

Let me just say that baking gluten free is much, much different than baking with gluten. The biggest shocker for me was the vast difference in the consistency of the dough for bread and pizza crust. With gluten you can roll the dough up into a ball. Gluten free dough is more like a thick brownie batter. My first rounds of gluten free baking involved many skeptical looks, deep breaths and cooking the stuff anyway. Usually it came out fine. Gluten free baking is also a lot more finicky than what you are probably used to. It’s really tempting to make substitutions in recipes and make things your own way, but I would recommend that you find a recipe that looks good and follow it. Once it comes out the way you want it to, then start to tweak it. By tweaking one thing at a time you will most likely avoid the scenario below. I pulled this from the comments section of a recipe I found posted on line.

After 60 minutes, the centre of the cake in a Bundt pan is mushy and I don't think it will improve. Nope: an hour later - bound for the garbage can Time and money spent, all for nothing. I made a couple of substitutes - 2C almond flour + 1C Red Mill 'all-purpose' gluten free flour vs. the suggested flour mixture; 2 Tsp vanilla, 2 Tsp almond flavoring, neither of which was gluten free; added 3/4 Tsp guar gum and 1/2 Tsp baking soda and 2 Tsp baking powder.

Here are the most likely culprits in her cake disaster. The substitution of flours. There are a lot of gluten free flours out there but many are not able to be swapped out cup for cup. If one of the flours is denser or holds more moisture it can drastically change the finished product. If you need to substitute flours do an internet search and see what flours will substitute well for the one you want to eliminate. Usually all purpose gluten free flours can be exchanged out cup for cup, with very little difference.

I’m not really sure why she added the guar gum, baking soda and extra baking powder. I am guessing that the guar gum was used as a substitution for the Xanthan gum in the all purpose flour recipe. Guar gum and xanthan gum are often used in gluten free baking. Gluten is what holds together traditional baked good and when it is removed from a recipe Guar or Xanthan gum are used to help bind the finished product. In this case, I would expect that it is already a part of the all purpose gluten free flour mix.

One other critical mistake was using vanilla and almond flavoring that were not gluten free. Even if the cake had turned out fine, the small amounts of gluten in the flavorings would have contaminated the rest of the cake.

The recipe being discussed above is the one I base my pound cake on.


And yes, I did make a couple of substitutions. I know, I know, I just told you not to do it. A classic case of do as I say, not as I do. I was fortunate and the recipe came out okay. Had it not come out okay I would not know what was to blame. Was it just a bad day? Did the flours change things? Was it the substitution of corn starch for an egg? Then I have to decide if I want to try that recipe again and see if I can figure out the problem, or just move on.

One final note about baking gluten free, it's really easy to get caught up in buying tons of different flours and baking mixes and that gets expensive quickly. I have tapioca flour, potato starch flour, corn starch, corn flour, white rice flour and brown rice flour. Those are some of the most affordable flours and I have founds I can make almost anything I need to with them. When I want to try a new gluten free recipe I hunt for one that uses only the flours I have in my cupboard. If I can't find a recipe using those, then I will buy a new type of flour. It helps.

Gluten Free French Toast

Ingredients

4-6 slices of gluten free bread
1 butter
1 T sugar
1 cup milk
4 eggs
1 t cinnamon
1/2 t vanilla
1 husband who is willing to make the gluten free french toast for you. (Although this is not essential, I sure like having him around.)

Directions

Whisk all ingredients except butter and bread in a shallow dish.

Place the bread in the egg mixture and let it soak about a minute.

Heat pan or griddle over medium or medium high heat.

Melt butter in the pan.

Add soaked bread to the pan and cook for 3-4 minutes on or until golden brown.

Flip the bread and continue to cook until golden brown on the other side.



We typically serve this with powdered sugar sprinkled on top and maple syrup. When we have it for dinner it is usually accompanied by ham, although we like bacon with it too.

How to Start Eating Gluten Free-Where to Start

It's really overwhelming when you are told you have to start eating gluten free. What is gluten? What is it in? What ingredients do I need to look for? My doctors office gave me almost no information and sent me on my way.

Gluten in a protien found in wheat, barley and rye. There is a lot of debate about oatmeal and whether it is safe. To me, oatmeal's just not worth the risk so I avoid it too.

Gluten is in a lot of foods. Pretty much everything in the bakery, cookie and cracker aisles. It's also in places you wouldn't expect like turkey, broth and soy sauce. It means you need to read the labels. And since formulations are changing constantly you need to read labels every single time you go shopping.

Here is the unsafe food list for gluten-free eating. I suggest printing it out and taking it to the grocery store with you, at least the first time shopping.

Plan some extra time your first few shopping trips. Reading all the labels and having to try 5 different chicken broths before you find one you can eat will take some time. Here's a couple of tips to get you in and out of the grocery store a little faster. The produce section is great. There's some debate over mushrooms (they are grown in a substance that contains wheat and could get caught in the gills) but pretty much everything else is good. Plain meat is pretty easy. Turkey is the most problematic since they often add broth to make it juicier and that is not always gluten-free. Occasionally you will see this with chicken too. Dairy is also pretty good. Yogurt and ice cream seem to be the hardest. Some yogurts, like yoplait, are labeling individual flavors gluten-free. If you don't go that route look for ones that are all natural. If there are only three or four ingredients it's much easier to make sure you can eat it. Especially if you can pronounce all the ingredient names.

Another great source of gluten-free foods is in the Asian food section. Just watch out for the soy suace. Most (not all) of it has wheat in it. Many dishes like pad tai and peanut noodles are made with rice pasta and they often have rice crackers too. I have been pleasantly surprised that these are often labeled "gluten-free" on the package.

I will continue this in another post. Still to come, gluten-free and medications, finding a support group, where to find recipes etc.

******************Disclaimer******************

Although I would not deliberately give out incorrect information about eating gluten free and everything on this page is correct, to my knowledge, at the time I am writing this post, I can't guarantee its validity. Food formulations change constantly and please verify that any food you eat is gluten-free before consuming it if you are on a gluten-free diet.

My Filing System-Part Two

I am such a dork. I just realized that when I was doing my posts on filing I wrote 2 posts explaining the 2 year catch all folders and never even commented on my permanent and remove/replace filing system. So I’m just going to go back and write the other post I meant to write now.

I keep my taxes for 10 years now. I really liked the rotating system proposed by the Freedom Filer. Basically you set up 10 file folders and label them Tax Year 1, Tax Year 2…Tax Year 0. The number represents the last digit of the year the tax return was filed in. For example, my 2009 tax returns are filed in Tax Year 9. When 2019 taxes are completed I will shred my 2009 tax returns and put the 2019 tax returns in Tax Year 9.

I also used the Freedom Filer suggestion of a remove/replace section of files. These are documents that are frequently updated, renewed or replaced. Things like insurance policies, service provider contracts and retirement statements. When a new document comes in the mail, I take out the old one, tuck the new one in its place and shred the old one. It’s very simple and that way I never have to go through and purge out years of files.

My last section is for my permanent files. These were a challenge to me. Have you ever read a book that tells you how to file? Almost all of them start with “Decide on the categories you will need for your filing system”. Seriously? That is why I am reading this book. I don’t know where to start. Tell me what I need to keep and what I can throw away. What are the basic categories I will need to organize my paperwork? And how do I file it? Is car insurance filed under “car” or “insurance” or “the name of my insurance company”?

This was the list I found that seemed to make sense to me.

1. Tax Returns-Include 8 folders for the last seven years plus the current year. Place all W2’s, 1099’s, interest statements and returns in this file.
2. Retirement Accounts-Create a folder for each retirement account you have, 401(k)’s, IRA’s, etc and include the statements.
3. Social Security-Include your social security benefits statement.
4. Investment Accounts-Create folders for each brokerage account, mutual funds, or individual stocks and keep the statements here.
5. Savings and Checking Accounts-Add files for each separate account you have.
6. Household Accounts-Here you will keep track of your House title, home improvement receipts, mortgage and utility statements.
7. Credit Card Debt-Add a folder for each card you hold.
8. Other Liabilities-This folder would include student loans, personal loans, car loans, etc.
9. Insurance-This folder contains all insurance policies, home, life, car, health, disability, long-term care.
10. Will or Trust-Keep a copy of your will and living trust here.
11. Children’s Accounts-Include any college savings plans or trusts set up in your child’s name.

I tweaked it a little bit, but this is what I used as a jumping off point. My car insurance is now filed in a folder marked “insurance-car”. I keep my taxes for 10 years instead of 8. I made medical files for each of us and a folder for our pets. But this is working pretty well so far. I know where to find things. It makes sense to me. It’s not so complicated that I can’t use it.

Sneaky Brownies-Gluten Free, Of Course

Over the past couple of weeks I have been cooking out of the Sneaky Chef cookbooks. Have you heard about these? It's a cookbook featuring recipes that hide healthy foods in dishes you would normally eat. She teaches you how to incorporate carrots and sweet potatoes into tomato sauces for pizza or spaghetti, blueberries and spinach into brownies and winter squash into macaroni and cheese. I've tried all three of these and the only thing I could taste was the blueberries in the brownies. It wasn't bad but I think I will try it with cherries next time. Doodlebug didn't seem to mind the blueberries or spinach one bit!



Not all of the recipies in the cookbook are gluten free, but several can be easily converted. I also found a version called The Sneaky Chef to the Rescue. This cookbook has many of the recipes in her other cookbooks that have been converted to be allergen free. There's even a whole section on gluten free! This is where I found the gluten free brownie recipe and there's a cookie recipe I hope to try next.

I love the idea of sneaking veggies into foods that I eat and love. Who couldn't use a few more fruits and veggies in their day? And even though it doesn't magically transform brownies into health food, it makes it easier for me to rationalize eating it. If it has spinach in it, I think I can count it as a salad, right?

Chex Treats

Since going on the gluten free diet I've had to give up Rice Krispy treats. Rice krispies seem like a cereal that would not have gluten, but they add a small amount of malt to it which makes it off limits to me.

But seriously, I want to make these with my son. I want to eat them too. I have childhood memories of the ooey gooeyness of the marshmellows melting and I want to pass it on.

My friend hit up on a brilliant solution. Substitue Rice Chex for the Rice Krispies. Why didn't I think of that?



Here's the recipe.

6 cups of Rice Chex
4 cups mini marshmellows
3 T butter

Melt butter over low heat. Add marshmellows and stir frequently until marshmellows melt. Pour into a greased (or sprayed) 9 x 13 baking dish and press down into an even layer. Let cool before eating.

We had a good time making the treats. I had 2 helpers. My official taste tester and my offical cutie pie.




Oh my, these were so good! My little helper (Doodlebug's friend who was staying with us that day) declared loudly, "I love this treat!" I couldn't have said it better myself.