Returning an Adopted Child?

Have you heard about the couple on Good Morning America who want to give their adopted son back to the state? Their story is a horrible one. The child has been violent and even tried to kill them by burning their home down and has been locked in a psychiatric ward for the past year. They are attempting to change Oklahoma law to allow them to return the child to the care of the state.

But it both makes me mad and breaks my heart what they are trying to do.

I cannot imagine the terror and anguish that this couple is feeling. To know the child you love and are caring for wants to kill you, and would try. And he's coming home next month. I know they are desperate. I know they are terrified of having this child in their home. I would be too.

But he is their child. If he was their biological child they would not be pursuing this as an option. Adoption often gets a bad rap. The children who are adopted are often treated as though they are a second choice. Comments are made to their parents about how they are not their "real kids". Just this week I heard of an adoptive mother who became pregnant. Her co-worker asked her if they would be giving back their adopted 18 month old child now. Really? Do people think like this? Do people think adopted kids are expendable?

There is a lot of adoption within our family. Our second child will be adopted, not biological. I have always thought that I would adopt my children, instead of give birth to them. This is a topic I am passionate about.

I am angered that this family would go on national TV and announce they want to give their child back. I am angered for this child as well as for every other adopted child in this country. I am angered at the perception they are perpetuating that adopted kids are expendable. That they have a return policy. That they are less a part of the family than a biological kid.

Can you imagine being an adopted child and watching this news report? Thinking your place in the family might not be secure because you were adopted into it and not born into it? What would that do to a child?

I hope that out of the show today this family gets a solution. I hope it's a solution that protects everyone involved and leaves the family intact. I hope for everyone's sake it comes soon. And when it does, I hope they run that story about adoption on Good Morning America too.